It's 6:06 in the am. I hear Nola outside our room. Actually I hear her first turn the light on in the hallway. Click. I look at the edge of our blinds. It's still dark outside. Pam and Judah are still sleeping. I put on my shorts and walk out to the hall. Nola is in the other room. She somehow hears me silently shut the door to our bedroom.
Nola: I love you, daddy.
Me: I love you, too, sweetheart. Good morning.
Nola: Do you want to play with me?
Me: Yes, but I have to feed Oliver first. He's meowing.
Nola: I'm going to give him a hug.
Me: That's very sweet.
Nola hugs the cat and releases him. I get the food out, put it in his bowl. Nola watches me from the couch.
Nola: Is it the weekend?
Me: No, sweetie, it's Thursday.
Nola: Can we watch a Pingu?
(Pingu is a series of 5 minute cartoons about a penguin named Pingu we watch on YouTube - ONLY on the weekends.)
Me: I think Pingu is just for the weekends, sweetheart.
Nola: Can we watch it because I love you so much?
Me: Ok, sweetie, we have to have a conversation. Let's go downstairs.
We go downstairs. I pull Nola onto my lap. I kiss her neck.
Me: You have to stop manipulating daddy, ok? Just because you love me so much doesn't mean you can do whatever you want whenever you want, ok?
Nola lies there with her thumb in her mouth.
Me: Daddy loves you so much all the time. But during the week we read and we play with your dollhouse and the cars. We draw and make necklaces. If we watched Pingu all the time it wouldn't be special. You're going to have your whole life to watch cartoons. Mommy and I are trying to preserve your childhood. We are creating boundaries.
Nola: What are boundaries?
Me: They're sort of like fences. They keep us safe. They keep us from becoming little monsters.
Nola: Am I a little monster?
Me: Well, sometimes. I mean we're all little monsters sometimes. But it's very important to have boundaries.
Nola: I don't like boundaries. I want to watch Pingu.
Me: Yes, I'm sure you do. But Pingu is just for the weekends. Let's play with the dollhouse. What's Paul Simon doing?
(Paul Simon is the dad doll of her dollhouse.)
Nola: He's driving Belle and Sleeping Beauty to ballet class.
Me: Should we see if anyone else wants to come?
We hear Judah cry upstairs. It turns into the bleating of a goat.
Nola: I don't like when Judah cries.
Me: I know, sweetie. No one does. But let's go up and say good morning to mommy and Judah.
Nola puts her thumb in her mouth and begins to go up upstairs. She let's out a whimper mid-flight.
Me: Nola, c'mon, no fake crying.
Nola keeps whimpering and runs into our room when she gets upstairs. I hear her from the top of the steps.
Nola: Mommy, daddy says I need boundaries. I don't like boundaries.
C'est la vie, non?
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